ADHD Tendencies and Self-Regulation: The Struggle to Find The Perfect Pace

Cars have gauges to let them know when something is out of balance. Thermometers so that we know when the engine is too hot, gas gauges let us know when we're almost out of fuel, and speedometers let us know when we're moving too fast or too slow. 

As people we can overheat, we can run out of steam, or we can move at a steady pace. In general, our bodies are self-regulating. When something's out of whack, we experience a symptom of some sort. For those with ADHD tendencies, self-regulation can be a real challenge to say the least.  

Have you ever felt that one of your gauges didn't work? Or like maybe you were born without one?

As someone with ADHD tendencies, I have definitely felt like my time regulator or inner sense of time has always been a bit off. I have also felt that I may be missing an inner pace-setter. That part that tells me when to push harder or that I've pushed hard enough. How fast I should complete something vs how fast another hard worker would complete something, albeit someone without adhd tendencies. 

I've often thought what is the baseline? The industry standard? As someone who "listens in" and pays attention to others interactions, I've wondered how do they know what the pace should be? I have no natural sense for that. 

Here's what I mean:

In the past, when it came to how I lived my life, I would often say I was a "sprinter, not a marathoner", meaning I could go hard and fast for awhile and then would need some downtime. I wasn't good at pacing myself and didn't actually enjoy a slow and steady pace. 

Often I would channel an intense attention span (often referred to as hyper-focus) when necessary. When something really interested me I'd be all in, often at the expense of everything else.

It wasn't until I actually began running a few years ago, that I learned that I actually could run long distance if I paced myself. This made me consider what that would look like in my everyday life, in my work life.

What would happen if I paced myself? I had a belief that if I paced myself I would be holding back. Not giving as much as I was able. My challenge became, how do I overdeliver and yet set my own pace? When you don't have a pace-setter, how do you judge what is a perfect pace? If I used a frantic pace to determine when I'd worked hard enough, what did I use once I chose to drop "frantic" as a way of being?

When I found myself in job situations where the pace was fast and everchanging, I loved, loved, loved it, until I didn't. I would eventually burn out for lack of boundaries. The challenge of learning a new job, tackling a new challenge, solving a new problem was energizing. I would say "yes, sure, no problem, whatever you need" and then later wonder why I had hit a wall. For some reason, I believed it was my employer's responsibility to give me a reasonable amount of work. To have an idea of how long something should take. So. Not. True. 

My motto for this was "I can do anything for a week..., I can do anything for a year...I can do anything for a month." I was basically up for the challenge for as long as I could handle it. This wasn't a terrific way to live. I would let exhaustion be the key that I was done.

I'm still figuring this out. Not gonna lie. But I am getting better at it. I began planning more. Doing things on purpose, not because I could or felt I had to, or wanted to be a people pleaser. I began saying "yes" because I had time in my planner, or didn't and so would say "I can't today, but can by Monday" or "thank you for thinking of me, I just don't have time for that right now".

Want to chat with me a bit about some of your self-regulation issues? Book a 30-min consultation and see how coaching may be just the thing to help.

Acupuncture

Today we are going to take a look at the practice of acupuncture.  I think now may be a good time to mention medications and my personal journey.  

When I was first diagnosed with ADHD (Inattentive type), after much consideration I decided to try medication.  I don't have a history of doing very well on medication, for most of my life I have taken it only when absolutely necessary.  Not because I have any aversion to it, primarily because I always seem to have side effects that are worse than what my original issue was to begin with.  

On top of that, I'm emetophobic (fancy word that means I FREAK OUT at the site/sound of vomit) and so if a medication had any chance of making me sick, I was out before I even began.  Fast forward to my first attempt with an ADHD Medication-it was not a Stimulant and not a "Non-Stimulant" but rather something in that "other" category.  I had a rough time (I'll do a seperate blog post on that), but let's just say that by day 3 I was off of it and willing to "deal with" life as my unmedicated self. Attempt number two with meds came about 5 years later.  Again I had a hard time out the gate and by day two I was off of the prescribed medication.  I acknowledge that I never actually gave it time to work, but for me it was enough to be clear on what I wanted.  I wanted to look more closely at non-medicinal options.  

This is where the discussion with my friend came in.  She's a retired Nurse whose opinion I respect and she mentioned that I should try acupuncture, that she does it...in fact she'd take me if I was game! I'll try anything once (well just about anything) and we made an appointment a month later.  

**Please note-I have no judgement regarding the use of medication to treat ADHD.  In fact I know many people personally that it has made a world of difference for.  It has in fact been a life saving option for a few of them.  I have seen first hand children that functioned so much better on medication.  I believe whether to use medications or not is a very personal decision, and that whatever an individual chooses to do should be supported as their personal choice.  

With that being said, as I've researched alternative treatments for ADHD, acupuncture is one that has come up.  While not yet recognized as a primary treatment for ADHD, research has suggested that as a part of a multidisciplinary approach it can be effective. 

My experience with acupuncture so far has been positive.  I am going to Sacramento Acupuncture Project which is a community acupuncture practice located in Sacramento on Fulton.  I don't typically do needles well, so this was going to be interesting.  

I arrived about 10 minutes early, and met with Molly who explained how it worked.  We spent a little bit of time at the intake appointment going over what my areas of concern were. From there she led me into the treatment room.  As a community practice, you are in a room with other people.  The environment was very relaxing.  Dim lights, relaxing music, zero gravity chairs, pillows, blankets, whatever you need to "create a comfy nest". Once you are situated, the acupuncturist comes over and inserts the needles.  I had about 13 of them on my first visit.  They are very fine hairlike needles.  I didn't feel any pain.  They were inserted from the top of my head, down to my feet. You are fully clothed, but push up sleeves and roll up pants to your knees.  A minimum of 30 minutes is suggested, but you can stay as long as you'd like.  It is common to fall asleep in the chair.  Five days after my first appointment, I returned so that my husband could give it try.  The results of this therapy are "to be continued".  I will update you along the way as to what I'm noticing.  At the very least, it's a very relaxing hour in my week.  

Sacramento Acupuncture Project offers a very affordable sliding fee scale from $15-$35 based on what you feel you can pay.  It is a "sustainable model" which I like.  For the month of January, return patients can bring a friend and the $15 new patient reg. fee is waived.  Here's the flyer with more info:

If you're interested and would like to try it yourself, and are in the Greater Sacramento Area, shoot me an email at revealedpath@gmail.com and I'd be happy to bring you as my "buddy".

Thanks for reading,  ~Shaun