Why Having ADHD Can Make You Feel Like You’re Broken

Day 11: Broken

I've talked to a lot of people.

On consults, in coaching sessions.

The most common question that people don't ask is,

but what if I'm broken?

What if my brain's broken?

What if coaching won't help me?

What if I'm just too different?

What if I'm a unique case?

It can sound like this:

• It hasn't worked before

• I've tried so many things

• I'm too unorganized, scattered, overwhelmed, scared for it to work for me

• But you don't know my story

• My whole family would agree with me

• Some people can't be helped

I'm not buying any of it. I'd felt and thought many of those things myself.

We think something's wrong with us. That our brain is "broken" and doesn't work the way it should.

That our brain doesn't always cooperate and so we're left with these adhd tendencies.

We get easily distracted, feel unmotivated, are scared to fail, are nervous about what people may think, and can't decide.

We clearly can't get a new brain, so there's no hope.

We think same brain = same results. 

BUT what I know to be true is same brain, different thoughts = different results.

We think our brain is the problem, but really it's just our thoughts.

I can teach you how to manage your thoughts.

Click here to book a free 45-minute consultation call with me and let's talk about it.

You Never Have To Feel Overwhelmed Again

Day 10: Overwhelm

Have you ever been so overwhelmed that you felt stuck and had no idea what to do next?

I remember clearly a time when my day to day activities came to a screeching halt.

Overwhelmed.

The feeling was so hard to manage.

It felt like I was juggling balls while spinning ceramic plates in the air. Slowly I could anticipate each plate dropping one by one while I stood by helpless. Unable to prevent them from hitting the ground.

The feeling felt tight and closed off, like I was holding my breath and clenching my fists.

I could literally hear the sound of plates breaking as they dropped in my mind.

It felt like I didn’t have enough hands to catch them all.

My brain was frozen and no solutions were in sight.

Another image I had during that time was of me floating in an ocean, no land in sight. I didn’t have a life preserver and the water was deep and choppy. It felt like I had been floating for days. I couldn’t tread water any longer. Every now and then I’d sink under and then suddenly bob up gasping for air. It was such a heavy and terrifying feeling.

I remember having both of these images come to me during the day. It was like a daydream (nightmare really). My thoughts were all consuming.

I couldn’t focus.

It felt like tears were on the verge of appearing all of the time.

The pressure was just too much.

I tried to come up with solutions, solve some of the problems.

I thought I just had too much to do and that I needed to adjust my schedule. Cut some things out.

What I know now is that overwhelm is a feeling.

It’s caused by the thoughts that I think.

When I feel it now, I get curious about what I’m thinking. Things like:

*I’ll never get all of this done.

*This feels impossible.

*I’m in over my head.

*I’m losing my mind.

*I’m so overwhelmed.

These thoughts do nothing to help me.

In fact, they keep me spinning.

No matter how much is happening on any given day I can choose how I want to feel about it.

Overwhelmed is never a feeling that I choose on purpose.

Determined, capable, persistent, organized, clear headed, focused.

These are all feelings that bring me forward motion.

How do you want to feel the next time your to-do list is too long?

Hope over to my Facebook page and let me know in the comments!

~Shaun

Magnifying Pain With Our Minds

Day 9: Suffering

A few years ago I began having headaches fairly regularly.

My eyes were constantly dry and itchy.

I’d catch myself rubbing my temples in the middle of the day.

This persisted for a number of months.

I’d think - maybe I have allergies.

Maybe I have dry eye sydrome (it’s a thing)

Then it morphed into…

Maybe I have a brain tumor.

Maybe it’s cancer.

Something’s terribly wrong.

I’m not sharing all of this because I’m proud of where my brain went.

In the moment I was terrified. Scared to go to the Dr. Too busy to get to the Dr.

My brain invented all of these stories about what my headaches and symptoms meant.

My brain filled in the blanks where I didn’t know any better.

The unknown is scary and our brains ultimate dream is to become the best horror film writer of all time.

It’s default setting is doom and gloom.

Because it wants to protect us and prepare for the worst.

When I finally went to the Dr., he congratulated me on “officially joining the older and wiser club".

What was wrong?

I needed reading glasses.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve joined this club too.

My brain took it to an extreme because I have a constant low level of “trying to be protective” anxiety at all times.

The pain was literal. My head hurt. My eyes hurt. My eyes were tired.

The suffering was optional. All of the worry I brought on by my unhelpful thoughts.

We do this all the time.

With our kids, our businesses, our spouses, our money, our parent, our siblings, our bosses.

We worry ahead of time about what may be ahead.

We have whatever is going on in the moment that feels like a painful experience, and then we amplify it by thinking things like:

“This shouldn’t be happening.”

“If they loved me this would be different.”

“Why do things like this happen to me?”

All of that is optional.

Look, life is painful. For everyone. In one way or another. It really is. Nobody gets out unscathed.

We don’t have to suffer through the pain. We get to choose how we want to feel about it.

Not sure if you believe me? Let’s talk.