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Feelings, Mindset Shaun Roney Feelings, Mindset Shaun Roney

How to Feel Calm When You Miss A Flight


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Here’s the scene.

My family and I had just spent a fabulous 4 days in New Orleans eating our way through the City.

We soaked up the warmth and the culture, where our Creole roots were formed.

For all intents and purposes the trip was a success! Celebrating my son’s 21st birthday with my daughter, son and husband was so much fun.

There was one night of dra-aaa-maa…there always is on vacation. I see a trend. Tensions can run high. People have different expectations and ways of vacationing.

But back to the story…

4 fun-filled days. Our flight out is sceduled for 7am. We wake up at 4:45am planning to throw our clothes on and catch a Lyft to the airport in plenty of time for our flight.

What actually happens is this. My daughter (who’d booked our flights when she saw a deal) comes into my room at 4:45 asking “What time does it say our flight is in your phone?”

Me: “Umm, 7am”

Daughter: “Ok (long pause), mine says 7 in one message and 5:30am in another. I got a text message ‘reminding’ me of our updated time of 5:30, which I had no idea about.”

Silence…

Daughter: “I’m pretty sure our flght got changed to 5:30am and I didn’t see the message.”

Me: “Okay. Well, let’s get the boys up and moving and get there as fast as we can.”

*Side note: the airport is 20 minutes away and we need to call a Lyft. There’s no possible way to get there by 5:30am.

I remember having a conscious thought at this moment. I asked myself a key question. “How do I want to feel about all of the potential drama that is about to happen?”

Me (to self): Calm

My thought (T) became “Whatever happens we will just have to roll with it and make the most of it.”

My feeling (F) = Calm.

Let me tell you, as a praying Christian woman, I was also praying like all get out in that car on the way to the airport.

I did not want to see what happened if and when they told us we’d missed our flight. (My husband would blow a gasket!)

Daughter (in the car on the way to the airport): “I’m sure we missed our flight. There aren’t any others. I’ve checked.”

Me: Silence (Praying and thinking my (T) thought (see above) over and over again.

We get to the airport. I tell my daughter to go ahead and put in our confirmation number so that we can check our bags. (Fingers crossed)

She does so and up pops a bright red message that said “This flight has already departed.”

We are screwed! No seriously. I had a moment where I wasn’t sure what to do.

I walked over to two ladies in United uniforms and asked where the ticketing counter was…as we had a problem.

She explained that this was it. No counter. An automated bag check and a few emplyees available to help.

I channeled my inner feeling of calm and explained what had happened.

Message about changed flight missed.

Text message received this morning too late.

Flight missed.

What can be done?

Silence.

She started working on her computer, punching in information.

A few minutes later she said, “I’ve got you rebooked on a flight through Denver (instead of Houston). You’ll get back to the Bay Area at the same time.”

No extra fee.

I thanked her sincerely and off we went.

We’ve never missed a flight. This felt scary.

The circumstances felt dire. How we decided to feel about them felt optional.

I shocked myself with how calm I felt. It took some conscious work on my part. It was worth it.

Freaking out is always optional.

I’d love to talk with you more about that if you’re interested.

~Shaun


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ADHD, ADHD Tendencies, Feelings, Mental Health Shaun Roney ADHD, ADHD Tendencies, Feelings, Mental Health Shaun Roney

Ever Felt Like You’re Walking On Eggshells?

Day 13: Eggshells

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Have you ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells?

Trying to behave a certain way so that someone else feels a certain way?

It can be exhausting.

I was in a relationship once where I thought that I could manage my boyfriends emotions by being and acting a certain way.

I thought that if I could anticipate what he was thinking and feeling, I could tell what would make him upset and do the opposite, so that he could be his best self.

The problem was, I then wasn’t being my best self.

I was altering my natural behavior to accommodate his behavior.

It was unfair to both of us.

I was not being true to myself.

I was not allowing him to grow into his best self.

It didn’t last.

Here’s the thing. You and only you, are responsible for how you feel.

You cannot delegate how you feel to someone else.

If they don’t do what you want them to do, you’ll feel bad.

When you are responsible for your own feelings, no matter what someone else does, you will be fine.

You can feel fine.

No matter what they say or think about you, it all works out.

They can be wrong about you.

They can be confused.

You know who you are.

Curious how that works?

Let’s talk.

~Shaun

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ADHD, ADHD Tendencies, ADHD Mindset, Feelings, Goals Shaun Roney ADHD, ADHD Tendencies, ADHD Mindset, Feelings, Goals Shaun Roney

Wanting More When You Already Have Enough

Day 12: Wanting

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Life's pretty good, I really don't have much to complain about.

My husband and I were in Starbucks one morning not too long ago, and while waiting in line we started chatting with the people around us. We were all talking about how the design of the location had recently changed and it's not as "user friendly" as it used to be. 

The layout is not as nice as it used to be.

The chairs are not as comfy.

The line wiggles through the middle of the seating area.

It just feels less welcoming.

Then we realized it was 11:05am, and they throw out the Blonde roast at 11am!
Oh no! My hubby and another woman next to us both panicked. Now what?! They were both there for the Blonde.

I glanced down to notice that I had chipped a nail (they had been done like 3 days before) and a button had fallen off my coat.

In that moment I laughed out loud, shaking my head and said "first world problems"...as much for me as for anyone. Truly, I have nothing to complain about. Really.

I remember exactly 12 years ago, on 2/27/07 my mom passed away. It was a difficult time for me. She and I had some sweet conversations and during one of them she expressed just how much she wanted just even one more day to spend with us. One more day to spend time with her grandchildren. It was the hardest part of knowing that she was dying.

From that conversation, I decided whenever I was feeling sorry for myself or wanting to complain, I'd remind myself that "somebody somewhere was taking their last breath." It was a reminder to appreciate what I had, and to remind me that there was always someone going through something much worse. 

I was given the gift of ongoing gratitude.

Looking back over the past 12 years, there were definitely times that little reminder came in handy. Times when it really didn't serve me to stay down in the doldrums. 

BUT,

and this is a big but. I also believe that life doesn't have to be awful for you to want more out of it. 

I believe that we are each fearfully and wonderfully made, and sent here with a purpose. If we have things in life that are preventing us from becoming fully who we are meant to be, we owe it to ourselves to explore those things and move those obstacles out of the way.

We are given this one life and we get one chance at living it.

If fear, confusion, procrastination or something that you're not even clear about is holding you back, and preventing you from becoming who you want to be, or from accomplishing what you want to accomplish, it doesn't have to be that way.

I remember when I found my way to my first coach, my primary thought was "I don't know if I even know what a typical day feels like for most people. I want to talk to someone about that." 

I literally told my first coach "I don't even know why I'm here, I just want more."

It felt important. I just wanted some clarity.

I reached out to someone. Booked a free consultation and I've been doing the work on myself ever since.

What I love about that is that as I continue to grow, I'm able to help more and more people. 

By showing up for myself first, I'm able to show up for others.

There is nothing that I would ask of a client that I wouldn't ask of myself.

Wanting, what is it that you want just because you want it?

What are you missing out on by letting that slide by?

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Are you feeling overwhelmed and stuck? Download the guide "Top 5 Ways to Calm Your Mind and Create Forward Motion"