ADHD and Free Will: The Rumors Are True, You Can Choose More For Yourself

Day 21: Choice

When we have adhd tendencies, it can feel like we can’t make ourselves do what we know we should do.

Like we’re at the effect of those around us and worse yet, our own brains!

Let me be the first to tell you. It’s a lie. The stereotype of adhd that says you just can’t help but to follow the shiny object is wrong.

Rumor has it that you can choose to believe something different about yourself. Guess what?! It’s true!

You have the power within you to choose more. We all do.

In every situation you may find yourself in, you always have a choice.

Many of my clients don’t believe that. In fact, I’d say many people don’t believe that.

They want to say “You don’t know my situation. I literally don’t have a choice. It’s out of my control.”

When you say that, you’re using the most disempowered voice available to you.

You’re choosing to act as if decisions happen outside of you.

Here this. No matter the situation, you alwaaaayyyyyysssss have a choice. Even when you feel like you don’t.

You may feel like the cards area stacked against you. Like the only option is to do what you’re doing.

• More bills than income

• A husband who’s the primary breadwinner, so no “say” in how money is spent.

• A relative who needs financial help

• A health diagnosis that is affecting your day to day life

• A job that is not satisfying, but is what puts food on the table

• A project that has multiple steps that feels overwhelming

Whatever it is. You can choose how to react to it. How to respond. What you’re going to do about it.

You believe that the only thing to do is accept it until you can “catch a break”.

Can I sing a little Bon Jovi to you for a moment?

“Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake
Luck ain't enough
You've got to make your own breaks.”

~Lyrics from “It’s My Life” by Bon Jovi

That last line…”You’ve got to make your own breaks.”

The way you make your own breaks is to question your thought that the way you’re doing it is the only way.

That’s never easy. Your brain will offer up lots of proof that it’s true. Your brain is scared and wants to protect you from the worst thing that can happen. Whatever that may be.

The way to question what you doing is to ask yourself do you like what you’re choosing? Do you like why you’re choosing it?

If you don’t like what you’re choosing, and you don’t like why you’re choosing it (because it feels like the only choice), let’s jump on a consult call. Give me 45 minutes of your time to help you gain some perspective on how you might consider choosing differently. That’s all it takes to get you headed in the direction of your choice.

On that call my goal is to help you see that change is possible. I know it is for those that are ready. It is my goal to help you gain some clarity, and come to a decision if you’re ready to change your life or not by working together in a coaching relationship.

I’m 100% ok no matter what you decide, I just want to help you decide what you really want and help you determine if you like your reason for choosing it. It’s the first step in making better decisions for yourself in all areas of life.

If you want more, it’s available to you. I’d love to show you how. It’s one of the things I do as a Life Coach. ~Shaun

PS Check out today’s bonus! I get some of my best ideas while I’m driving or in the shower. Today’s post was inspired by some thoughts that I had while driving yesterday. Thought I’d share the audio here, even though the quality is not so great (and I use the word “like” a million times). It’s unedited, but passionate. Thought it may inspire someone.

It’s Time For The 9th Annual Succeed With ADHD Telesummit

Day 14: Success

I was honored to be a speaker at the Succeed With ADHD Telesummit!

You can listen in to the replay of my conversation with Laurie below. Enjoy!

Decide Every Day: Intentions and ADHD

Day 13: Intentions

Decide every day.

Let me put that another way. We GET to decide every day.

That’s what I noticed today.

That even though I spend a bit of time each day working on my mind and thoughts, I still can slide off course. Easily in fact.

I used to think I was indecisive. I had a hard time knowing what I wanted. I would consider things for quite some time before I would commit.

Especially if someone else was involved.

In the instances when it was just me, for example when I had to travel solo for work, or was on a trip to visit my sister on the East Coast, it felt easier. I would do what I wanted to do and had complete clarity around it.

If I didn’t know what I wanted to do, I’d just start somewhere and figure it out.

This past year I’ve done so much work around making strong decisions for myself.

Practicing speaking up.

Practicing knowing what I want.

Practicing following my compass.

Practicing saying yes and figuring out the how after.

Until I didn’t. Until I just stopped.

It’s been a slow quiet slide back into familiar territory, but I realized today that I’d set some intentions that I hadn’t followed through on.

I’d committed to starting a fitness program.

I’d committed to investing in facebook ads.

I’d committed to drinking less chai. (Seriously though, it’s delicious and PACKED with sugar)

I’d committed to a glass of wine every now and then, instead of each night.

I’d committed to 30 blogs in 30 days and made it to day 19 before I stopped.

I decided to be gentle and curious with myself.

Why hadn’t I followed through on these things when I’d already decided to?

I saw new circumstances.

A few minor injuries that have left me feeling frustrated.

Some health scares with hubby that have left me feeling vulnerable.

The logistics of listing a home.

A poisonous thought that I’d let creep in “I can do __________ in spite of __________”

I wanted to blame the circumstances. Because it makes sense. It seemed reasonable.

Until it didn’t.

Here’s the thing. I felt out of integrity with myself. That’s not a good feeling.

I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching. I wasn’t practicing what I believe in wholeheartedly. What I know works for me.

Deciding ahead of time and following through.

I spent some time looking at where I was and where I wanted to be.

I’ve decided to course correct. I’m using it as a lesson. Something to be aware of.

No beating myself up. No shame. No “of course this happened it’s what you do”.

None of that.

Just love and gratefulness that I noticed and am back on track.

Where have your intentions slipped? Where do you feel you’ve gone sideways and lost your way?

Guess what? We get to decide every day.

It’s not one and done. Each and every day we get to decide what we want and go get it.

We get to redecide. We HAVE to redecide.

Book a free consultation and let’s talk. It always helps to have a neutral party hear you out and ask meaningful questions. I’d love to help.

~Shaun