Why You Do The Same Things Over And Over Again

Day 30: Repeating Behaviors

We repeat what we don't repair. - Christine Langley-Obaugh

Have you ever noticed patterns in your life that show up again and again?

Maybe you see yourself as a victim in a personal relationship. But when you look closer, you realize that you see yourself as a victim at work, and of circumstances in general.

Maybe you delay making a big life decision. But when you look closer, you realize that you see yourself hitting the brakes when you make any decision. Where to eat, what to wear, when to change jobs…

Maybe you’re an all or nothing thinker. You’ve left a trail of past relationships where you’ve thrown yourself in hook, line and sinker and then at the first sign of trouble you burn it all to the ground and start anew.

Whatever it may be, what I know for certain is, this is the way it works.

We all have ways of being that are unique to us. We are sent here with an infinate number of paths to explore. Some appear more readily than others. We start out on one path and follow it until it intersects with another.

We do this throughout our lives. Day by day walking from one path to another.

Some paths are long and weave through decades of our lives. Others are short and seasonal.

Our childhood and present, mixed with our preferences and tendencies, combined with our unique wiring come alongside somebody else’s childhood and present, mixed with their preferences and tendencies, combined with their unique wiring.

When this combining occurs, sometimes it’s incredible and sometimes it’s not.

When it’s not, we are given the opportunity to decide how we want to respond. What we want to make it all mean. Whether we want to change and grow, or whether we want to stay in the land of the familiar and repeat the lesson at a later time.

I like to see patterns as paths.

There are some paths that we want to repeat.

There are some paths that we want to change.

There are some paths in need of repair.

There are some paths that we are not even conciously aware of.

This is where Life Coaching comes in.

A Life Coach can help you see the paths and patterns that you weren’t even aware of, the ones that are holding you back, and help to illuminate them with the light of awareness so that you can choose what’s best for you.

Coaching is not a one size fits all journey. We’re all individuals walking our own individual paths. What’s right for one person may not be right for another. You get to decide.

As we become curious, and explore and stay open to possibility our unique paths are revealed to us.

Paths in need of repair that don’t get the attention that they need, show up again further down the road disguised as a “new” situation.

I love when I discover a new way of being. When something that once felt painful is no longer so.

I love working with my clients and coaching them to a place where they can feel better. They can see the past painful patterns as what they are, optional.

If you’re ready for change but not sure exactly how to go about it. If you are unclear as to what you want but just know that things should be different and better, let’s get on a call. I’ve opened up a few additional consultations for next week and would love to talk with you. ~Shaun

Making Money As An Entrepreneur

Day 29: Money and Entrepreneurship

Today I want to talk about something that I see a lot of. Entrepreneurs who want to believe that if they work hard and deliver stellar service it will all pay off in the end.

Now I don’t want to knock hard work and karma, but there’s one thing that also needs to happen. As a business owner you need to value yourself before others (your customers) will value you.

If you take a wait and see approach, believing that if you do what you love the money will follow, you won’t be doing what you love for long. You’ll burn out.

You also need to become comfortable realizing what you provide is valuable (in fact invaluable), meaning it’s probably worth much more than what you think. You then need to begin to ask for what you’re worth.

I work with a lot of entrepreneurs. Most of my clients work for themselves, are creative and many are in the helping or service industries.

They love to help people enjoy life, feel better, grow, and learn.

They tend to be big hearted givers. They believe in the inherent good in people.

They work hard and give it their all. They pour their hearts and souls into their businesses and believe that others will see the value and respond accordingly.

I also notice that many of them walk a tight line when it comes to generating revenue.

They want to make sure they’re seen as reasonable.

They have a lot of thoughts about those that they see in business that they feel are “taking advantage of people by charging too much.”

They don’t want to be “that guy or girl.”

One of my mentors, Brooke Castillo talks about how many entrepreneurs have what she refers to as a (Business that you work hard at. Job + Hobby = Jobby)

It’s a business that doesn’t generate enough income to pay yourself. You may be working very hard but you are not able to support yourself on what you bring in.

As an entrepreneur, nobody wants a jobby. Why? Because it isn’t sustainable. Without money it will not last.

One thing that I see that most if not all of my clients have in common is a disconnect between what they offer and what they charge. They tend to set their value and prices based on overhead expenses and cost of product or services being provided, which is a type of “mark up”, rather than perceived value.

The question to ask yourself is how is value determined? Who determines whether or not something is valuable?

Consider the following example:

Haircuts:

Option 1: $9.99 at SuperCuts, $60.00 at the neighborhood salon, $700 at a specialty salon.

I’ve tried all 3 and valued each for different reasons at different times in my life.

Option 1: When I’d waited too long to make an appointment and my person was booked, or I was growing my hair out longer, I paid $9.99 and just had my ends trimmed to even things up every now and then. Creativity was not necessary.

Option 2: When I had a shape that I liked and was wanting to get my hair cut more regularly, I found a salon that did a decent job and was easy to book a week out. $60.00 was worth it to me to maintain a cut that I liked.

Option 3: Back when Japanese straightening was a thing, I once paid $700 to have my hair cut and straightened. It was $100/hour and took them 7 hours to do my hair (really!) I was headed on a vacation to humid Hawaii and would’ve paid just about anything to make my hair easier to care for while on vacation. I didn’t want to deal with the frizz and the humidity and the water. The time saved by using this process was priceless.

I felt good paying at all three pricepoints. Why? Because I liked my reason for each. The value was different for each.

For option one, I valued the low price and ability to walk in without an appointment.

In option two, I appreciated going somewhere that they knew my name, had studied how best to shape my crazy curly hair and the attention to detail that they gave.

Option three was about convenience. I valued the time it would save me while on vacation that I could then spend with my family.

The service provided was the haircut. The value was what I gained each time, and the benefit I recieved. Value is individual to each person.

As business owners, it’s not our job to decide what our products value is for anyone. It’s not our job to decide ahead of time what our clients can pay. Their budgets are none of our business.

it’s our job to set our prices at a place that allows us to run a profitable business rather than a jobby. That ensures that we will be able to offer our services for years to come.

It’s our job to show up and do the best that we can no matter what we charge. Overdelivering on value always. It’s just more fun when you are actually getting paid for it.

Thoughts like “what if I seem selfish? what if people think my prices are ridiculous? I want to help people that don’t have as much. I want to reach the masses.”

If you have judgments about “people who have money, rich people, how people spend their money”, there is no place for that in busines. Noticing those judgements and working through them will help.

What people choose to like is individual. I love chai tea. I would probably pay waaaay more for a delicious cup of chai than most people. More than friends that don’t like chai that much.

There is no such thing as reasonable amount. If you’re goal is to only reach people that want to pay as little as possible, becaue it feels more “helpful”, your business will suffer. When you make more money in your business, you can actually help MORE people.

There’s nothing selfish about that.

Money is now one of my favorite areas to coach people on. I’ve done so much work on this area myself over the past few years. If you’re a creative entrepreneur who’d like to earn more let’s jump on a call. There’s still six months left to this year, let’s make that time work in your favor. If you’re ready to take a look at your money beliefs and how they are holding you back, book a free session with me today. ~Shaun

ADHD Problems And Potential Exist In The Same Space

Day 28: Problems and Potential

Problems and potential go hand in hand.

Without one, you can’t have the other.

Without the potential of a mountain to be climbed, there wouldn’t be the problem of how to climb it.

Problems are a beautiful thing. They indicate that you have the vision for something better. Something to be. Something that isn’t currently.

Problems mean you see potential where others see nothing.

You see opportunity for growth and improvement where others may not even be looking.

Problems and potential must coexist in the same space.

When you see a problem as an opportunity rather than as an indicator that you’re broken, you’re on the right path.

Problems are opportunities to improve. Not indicators that something’s gone wrong, or that something’s wrong with you.

Problems aren’t personal until we have thoughts about them. They just are.

Maybe a problem that you struggle with is overcommitting. You have a hard time saying no.

The facts are “I agreed to _____________.”

It only becomes a problem when you have a thought about it.

Thoughts like:

• I can never say no.

• I really wish they would stop asking me to help.

• I do so much for others that I can’t get my own stuff done.

The problem is that you don’t want to agree to something and you did. There is potential there.

Potential to do differently the next time. The first step to move from problem to potential is awareness.

Awareness of why it’s a problem for you in the first place.

If you struggle with saying no, or any other area in life that you consider to be a problem, book a free consultation and let’s see how you can move into the potential of what’s possible. ~Shaun