So Many Interests: Curiosity and ADHD Tendencies

Look a squirrel!!

How many of you know what I'm talking about?

Urban Dictionary actually has a definition for "squirreling" that looks like this:

“1. referring to a sudden distraction (an A.D.D. lapse in time) mid thought, while another is talking, or when trying to accomplish any task.”

People that don't deal with this tendency every waking moment, seem to think it's hilarious. While I'm all about some self-deprecating humor from time to time, but the struggle is real.

I'm sure you've also heard the term "shiny object syndrome" in regards to ADHD. Which is basically the belief that due to a shortened attention span, a lack of focus and a pension towards boredom, the person with ADHD tendencies will drop everything, lose interest in something and basically bolt to the next new thing in front of them. The "new thing" is so shiny and pretty it's lure is nearly impossible to ignore. 

I could never entirely relate to that. As I reflect back on my work, hobby and entrepreneurial life, I see a pattern of trying new ventures for a solid length of time before deciding that something had eventually run its course and then moving on. Sure I am curious by nature and I prefer variety over the same old same old, but mainly because it feels adventurous. There are so many different flavors of ice cream to try, why not try them all?!

While I DO consider myself an eclectic person of many interests, there is a difference between considering and choosing what to pursue next vs. jumping straightaway towards the new without regard for the old. I've learned to build in a bit of a pause for myself. 

A few strategies that have helped me do that are:

• When I see that "shiny new object" I first allow myself just to notice it. To be curious about it. I ask myself what about it is intriguing to me and if I'm already doing something that meets a similar need.

• I see if there's the excitement of learning a new challenge and what the cost will be to do so. Time, money, current passions? Some shiny objects are lower cost investments than others.

• I also see if there are ways to dabble a bit, and try something on for size before diving head first into a "become the expert" type of a situation.

It's also not lost on me that by chasing shiny objects I could potentially self-sabotage my goals by not sticking with something long enough. At times this caused me to actually do the reverse, overstay situations to make doubly, triply sure I wasn't just jumping ship just because of this "shiny object" tendency that I may or may not have.

What about you? How do you handle the call of something new? Join the conversation over on my Revealed Path Facebook page by clicking the button below.

ADHD Tendencies and Self-Regulation: The Struggle to Find The Perfect Pace

Cars have gauges to let them know when something is out of balance. Thermometers so that we know when the engine is too hot, gas gauges let us know when we're almost out of fuel, and speedometers let us know when we're moving too fast or too slow. 

As people we can overheat, we can run out of steam, or we can move at a steady pace. In general, our bodies are self-regulating. When something's out of whack, we experience a symptom of some sort. For those with ADHD tendencies, self-regulation can be a real challenge to say the least.  

Have you ever felt that one of your gauges didn't work? Or like maybe you were born without one?

As someone with ADHD tendencies, I have definitely felt like my time regulator or inner sense of time has always been a bit off. I have also felt that I may be missing an inner pace-setter. That part that tells me when to push harder or that I've pushed hard enough. How fast I should complete something vs how fast another hard worker would complete something, albeit someone without adhd tendencies. 

I've often thought what is the baseline? The industry standard? As someone who "listens in" and pays attention to others interactions, I've wondered how do they know what the pace should be? I have no natural sense for that. 

Here's what I mean:

In the past, when it came to how I lived my life, I would often say I was a "sprinter, not a marathoner", meaning I could go hard and fast for awhile and then would need some downtime. I wasn't good at pacing myself and didn't actually enjoy a slow and steady pace. 

Often I would channel an intense attention span (often referred to as hyper-focus) when necessary. When something really interested me I'd be all in, often at the expense of everything else.

It wasn't until I actually began running a few years ago, that I learned that I actually could run long distance if I paced myself. This made me consider what that would look like in my everyday life, in my work life.

What would happen if I paced myself? I had a belief that if I paced myself I would be holding back. Not giving as much as I was able. My challenge became, how do I overdeliver and yet set my own pace? When you don't have a pace-setter, how do you judge what is a perfect pace? If I used a frantic pace to determine when I'd worked hard enough, what did I use once I chose to drop "frantic" as a way of being?

When I found myself in job situations where the pace was fast and everchanging, I loved, loved, loved it, until I didn't. I would eventually burn out for lack of boundaries. The challenge of learning a new job, tackling a new challenge, solving a new problem was energizing. I would say "yes, sure, no problem, whatever you need" and then later wonder why I had hit a wall. For some reason, I believed it was my employer's responsibility to give me a reasonable amount of work. To have an idea of how long something should take. So. Not. True. 

My motto for this was "I can do anything for a week..., I can do anything for a year...I can do anything for a month." I was basically up for the challenge for as long as I could handle it. This wasn't a terrific way to live. I would let exhaustion be the key that I was done.

I'm still figuring this out. Not gonna lie. But I am getting better at it. I began planning more. Doing things on purpose, not because I could or felt I had to, or wanted to be a people pleaser. I began saying "yes" because I had time in my planner, or didn't and so would say "I can't today, but can by Monday" or "thank you for thinking of me, I just don't have time for that right now".

Want to chat with me a bit about some of your self-regulation issues? Book a 30-min consultation and see how coaching may be just the thing to help.

What To Do When You Feel Overwhelmed and Broke

Did you know that the same culprit is at work when you're feeling overwhelmed and broke? Any idea what that culprit is?

Your thoughts!

Yes, your thoughts. Here's why that's important to know when you have ADHD tendencies. 

The problem is that when you struggle with ADHD tendencies, there are SO.MANY.THOUGHTS.

All of the time.

Did I mention all of the time? They just keep coming.

Thoughts are a double-edged sword.

When they are creative and positive, they help us feel fantastic and move us into productivity with our superhero like problem-solving ability. When they are negative and out of control, they can bring the strongest superwoman to her knees. They can sabotage everything just by showing up, swirling around and going unnoticed.

As you may already know, those of us gifted with non-neurotypical brains are the creative problem solvers of the world. We have this incredible ability to come up with solutions where none seemingly exist.

In fact, I've been told by a friend, that if the end of the world were here and we had to divide into teams to survive, she'd want to be on my team because she's seen my brain in action under pressure. It's something that I now embrace. A unique part of who I am. Us "tendency" people, we tend to do best under pressure. It's why you'll find many an ADHD tendency mind in careers such as firefighting, EMTs, Navy Seals, Entrepreneurs etc. The higher risk associated with these fields actually fits perfectly with the way our brains work. The adrenaline can pull us right into our sweet spot! Are you a person that loves a challenge? That plays into this too.

That's all fantastic but, remember, there is that dark side of thoughts too.

Let's go back to feeling overwhelmed and broke for a minute. These are two issues that many of my coaching clients struggle with. While there are things that are ADHD tendencies that contribute to the feeling of overwhelm, for example, the sheer number of thoughts happening at any given moment, the difficulty of prioritizing when you have an uncooperative Executive Function, the number of exciting distractions all around us (Ooh look a squirrel!), the truth is, the actual feeling of overwhelm comes from a thought or thoughts that we are thinking. 

Let's look at feeling broke. You do realize the word or condition of feeling broke is relative right?

I mean one womans broke is another womans aspiration and vice versa. Sure there are times you have less money in the bank, you are late on a credit card payment, you may not have enough to pay the bills, but when you really look at it, the feeling of broke comes from a thought that you are having about those things. Some of those thoughts sound like:

"I don't have enough"

"I should have more"

"I'm so bad with money" 

This is helpful to know for a few reasons. The main one is that we always want to blame a situation or person for how we feel. You may think you feel overwhelmed because your kids make a mess throughout the house and you can't keep up, or your boss expects you to get more done than you are able, or the daily demands of your life are too many and too hard to keep up with. It's your thoughts about all of that that is making you feel overwhelmed. 

You may think you're feeling broke because you're undervalued and not paid enough, or the cost of living is too high, or your ex didn't pay their child support. It's your thoughts about all of those things that is causing you to feel broke. 

The good news is that thoughts are in your control. All of those other things are not.

Not sure if you believe me? Book a 30-minute coaching consultation and let's take a look at what you're feeling and how you can make it better.